i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
