youre lurking in front of me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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