you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
