TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
