I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
