Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
