We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
