I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
