In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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