Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
