girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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