A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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