and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
