glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
