i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
