Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
