if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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