How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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