why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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