Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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