you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
