What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
