her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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