i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
