his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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