4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
"it" just moved
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
