I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
