Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
