would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize