So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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