went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
