Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
