i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well I just put wine in my tea
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
