Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
