so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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