Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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