party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
