This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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