Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's never too late to be topless.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
