I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
