Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
