Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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