Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
