so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
