woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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