..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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