I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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