please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
