he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
