Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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